I am 23 years old lady. I am the first born of my
mother and I have other two siblings a brother and a sister. I am also the only
one in my family with sickle cell disease. My father has 5 children; all the
other 4 are free from sickle cell.
My mother died of HIV/AIDS when I was in senior five
and I dropped out of school due to lack of school fees. Later my aunt took me
to Nserester Complex in Masaka for a vocational course. In the mid of the semester
I got to learn that my siblings were getting spoilt. My sister had started
dating men at a tender age and my brother was taking alcohol and abusing other
drugs. I dropped out of Nserester to save my siblings.
I started to do odd jobs to raise money for their
school fees. By then I was their mother and father. At one time I had to juggle
two jobs at ago; one was to work at a supermarket from morning up to midnight
the second was cleaning a health centre and I worked up to around 3am and go to
bed. This made me get attracted to tramadol to manage fatigue. I became
addicted to it. I used to take 10 tablets at ago. But now with the help of a
friend I have reduced to 4 tablets a day.
At home we were not in good terms with my father and
we decided to go and stay with our grandmother. When the Town Council
administration evicted her from the house I decided to go and rent. By then my
sister had finished her course in cosmetology and my brother had finished his
vehicle mechanical apprenticeship course and both had started working. I stayed
in the rented house for some months with my brother.
Later my dad called me home when I got a sickle cell
crisis. I accepted to return home. He was also staying in the house alone.
When I came back home I met our former maid when I
was still in senior at my grandmother’s place. During the period she worked
about she was a good maid at home and
was my friend. She is 6 years older than me. Then she had returned from
Nakasongola where she had gone after working and started a restaurant in
Wakiso.
We used to communicate and we had no problem. She
later got sick, I think she was bewitched. She was too sick and due to high
medical bills all her capital got depleted and the restaurant closed.
I used to go and attend to her, she had no relatives
around I did not want to leave her to die. When the situation deteriorated and
I also could not go to her place everyday I asked my father to host her. Since
we were two people at home; me and my dad he accepted.
I brought her home and treated her for two weeks and
she got healed and back to her feet. When she went back to her home she found
when the land lord had evicted her out of the house. She did not have any money
left with her and her restaurant had closed. She was stranded and had nowhere
to go. She stayed with us again as she was looking for another job.
She had a boyfriend who happened to be a boda boda
(motorcycle) rider. On Thursday 27th November 2014 she asked me to
accompany her to go out with her boyfriend in a bar called Cado Pado. When we
reached at the bar we found her boyfriend with another man. He introduced us to
the man as his customer whom he rides when in hurry. I knew her boyfriend
because he used to come home when I was around 12 years and everyone at one knew
him, even my father calls to him son.
The man bought drinks for all of us. He then pulled
his chair next to me. After sometimes he introduced himself as Ssalongo Hamad
and told me he was 42 years. He asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him I was
not going to love him. He was in the age bracket of my father. He laughed and
kept quiet. I told the maid and her boyfriend that I was not comfortable with
the man. I asked them to take me home.
The next day on Friday the maid’s boyfriend invited
us to a pub called KK which is a few metres from home. There were musicians
going to perform. We went to the pub and sat. The maid’s boyfriend bought me
Red Bull because I don’t take alcohol. The same man we were with at night in
Cado Pado came where we were seated, he found me taking my Red Bull and the can
was halfway. He asked me whether I wanted more Red Bull I told him that it was
ok. He bought for me more three cans. I took one more.
At the end of the show the maid had taken a lot of
alcohol and could not even walk on her own. I held her and took her home. By
the time we left the other man had left earlier.
On Saturday 29th 2014 around 7pm I
received a phone call from my maid’s boyfriend Vincent, he told me that he was
calling Sophie’s (the maid) phone and it was off. I told him that she had
hangover and even her phone battery was down. Vincent told me that he wanted to
give Sophie money for plaiting her hair. He explained that he could not give
her money the previous night because she was too drunk. He asked me whether I
could help her pick the money. I accepted.
I asked him whether he was at his place. He told me
he had slept at Ssalongo’s place the man we were with at night. Since I had
known Vincent for long time I never suspected any sinister motive.
I asked him Ssalongo’s place and he told me to come
to Nakabugo. He asked me to get a boda boda and he talk to him. I got one they
talked on phone and even gave him the directions.
When we got to the house he came and paid the boda
boda. I told him to give me the money and I go back with the same boda boda. He
refused and told me that the money was in the house. He asked me to go with him
and pick the money. He told me to enter. The house was big. It has about five
bedrooms. We entered from the front door. Vincent closed the door and removed
the keys. He told me to sit and watch TV as he went to pick the money. I heard
the back door closed. I waited for about 5 minutes and he was not coming back.
I called him. There was no response. I sat again and watched TV.
After about 15 minutes Ssalongo emerged out of the
bedroom in a towel. I knelt and greeted him as an elder because he is my
father’s age. I asked him where Vincent was and he told me he did not know. I
told Ssalongo that he had invited me to pick money for his girlfriend but was
not returning. He laughed and walked back to the bedroom.
He came back putting on a pair of shorts. I told him
that if Vincent was not coming let me go. I tried calling his number but it was
off. I told him that I did not have transport. Then he told me if I wanted
money for transport he was going to give it to me. He went back to the bedroom.
Later he came back putting on a towel. I asked him
for the money he had promised instead he came and sat next to me. He started
touching me romantically. I told him I had not come to be touched. He stopped.
I then told him that I had made it clear to him I was not going to love him. He
authoritatively told me that I was going to love him. I stood up and walked
straight to the door to open it. It was locked. He remained seated. I walked to
the back door. It was also locked. I called Vincent and Sophie’s phones, both
were off. He walked towards me I shouted for help but there was no response. He
told that I was not going to eat his money and get away with it. I had never
received any money from him. He was too determined.
He forced me to his bed pounced on me, overpowered,
removed my clothes and forced me into sex. After the rape he opened the door
and threw a 2000 Uganda Shilling note to me and he told me that is your
transport. I picked the money because I did not have anything to do and been
bruised. I got to the main road got boda boda and came back home.
Reaching home and I found Sophie washing her
clothes. I asked her whether she had heard from Vincent and she told me he had
just left and told her that he had left us with Ssalongo and never wanted to
disturb us. I narrated to her what had happened and she requested me to forgive
her.
In the evening I went to the pharmacy to buy some
drugs. Before that rape I had spent about 3 years without having sex. I had
been bruised.
I did not open up a case against him. I feared to
get ashamed. I also never expected to get justice.
After the rape incidence I was badly affected
physically and psychologically. I was traumatised. I reached an extent when I
ran away from my father. When he came to the sitting room I could just run to
my bedroom. I did not want to face any person even my sister. But for a man it
was worse. Every time I saw a man the rape incident replayed in my head.
A week after I became weak. My father thought that I
was sick and I was having a crisis and did not want to tell him. He gave me
money to go to Mulago hospital.
My worry was that this man could have impregnated
me. I bought the pregnancy test kit and I tested negative to the pregnancy. I
could not sleep after that incidence.
The same condition continued I even started to get
nausea. I went to the pharmacy bought Oral Rehydration Salt (ORS), multi
vitamins, 3 bottles of cod liver oils, tramadol and multiviti. I took all the
medicine for some days with a lot of fluids but there was no difference.
Since my father is HIV positive and stock a hundreds
of Septrin I reached out to his septrin. I used to take 2 tablets a day. After
3 days my condition had improved and was no longer weak.
In January this year Sophie got another boyfriend
who promised to marry her on condition that she tested for HIV. She first
refused to go for the test. I later convinced her to test.
On 15th January 2015 we went together at
Meeting Point on Kasengejje Road in Wakiso for her HIV test. I had not gone to
test. I just escorted her to motivate her and boast her confidence.
We sat and waited for the doctor. When he came at
around 1pm they called us to come and test. I told them I did not come to test.
Later I told them let me also test. I did not want to test because for the
number of test I did the results were negative.
Sophie went in first, after her I entered the
testing room. We waited for about 30 minutes for the results. She went in first
to the counsellor’s room when the results came back. When she came out I
entered to pick mine. The counsellor asked me when I last tested and I told him
July 2013. I had taken long because I was not sexually active for about 3
years. He asked me what if the results were positive. I jokingly answered him
that I start the drugs. I later told him that it would be worse for me because
am already battling with sickle cell. Then he me told if they were negative I
told him that I try to stay negative. After a short period of silence he told
me I was HIV positive. I shivered. I did not cry at that time. I felt like
someone had told me you are dying tomorrow. My ears closed, I could not hear
anymore what ever he said. I did not know where to start from.
I recalled the condition my mother was in before she
died. She had died miserably because we discovered that she was HIV positive
when it was in advanced stage. My father is battling with AIDS.
I got flashbacks of my mother dying without fresh on
her bones, ailing in pain, body full of rashes. I saw myself in a lonely room
in a sickle cell crisis and AIDS.
After testing positive, the counsellor advised me to
start on medication and taught me how to live positively. He told me to take
the worries away and that I will live a healthy life.
He gave me two options where I could get the drugs;
Meeting Point where I tested from or Wakiso Health Centre. I opted for Meeting
Point because of their care. I was asked to come back the next day on Friday
and be introduced on Septrin.
When we were leaving I told Sophie that I had tested
positive, she also told me that she had also tested positive but for her she
was not moved. She just told me “I have slept with many men. I expected that”.
I went home and cried. I saw my future ending and my
dreams shattered. I told my younger sister. I was told that she fainted on
learning that I was HIV positive. In the evening she came home with her husband
and told me she never believed the results. We went to a private clinic and
tested again. When the results came back I was positive and she and her husband
were negative.
With the counselling and care I have received from
Meeting Point I am now learning and getting to terms with the fact that I am
HIV positive. Previously I used to wake up in the night and also had
nightmares.
Right now I want everybody to understand that
HIV/AIDS is real especially young girls. Previously I did not understand HIV as
I know it today. However much my mother died of it when I was old enough but it
had not sank into my head.
Am dedicating my life to see that no other person
gets infected. Am also on a mission to motivate people living with sickle cell
disease like me.
I still want to go back to school and study a course in Guidance and Counselling to counsel those living with sickle cell disease and HIV/AIDS.
As she narrated to me
