2013 started in high gear with many expectations. I graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree and a few months later I got my first job before completing my responsibility as Google Students’ Ambassador. I was ready and ambitious to achieve more.
But before I started to see money on my account, things turned upside down. I started getting sick more often with pains I could not describe well. At first, I thought it was the usual pain that had presented itself differently. The time my doctor referred me to another doctor is when I realized that I had started on a journey to a far land. She had been my doctor for 3 years and understood even when I faked that I was ok when actually I wasn’t. Her referral scared me but I had to go by her advice.
I picked my referral letter and headed to my physician where I already had my file. He requested we do an ultrasound scan. It was my first time to go for it and was agitated by all the instructions, dos and don’ts before the scan. The diagnosis was appendicitis and my appendix had to be removed. At this time my friend Patricia whom we had been in and out of the hospital at different times was also scheduled for an operation.
My operation was successful, unfortunately, my friend Patricia Akoth never made it. As I dealt with her demise including burial, post-surgery complications surfaced my side. This seemed as though I was next. After burial things were tough for me. I used to sit at my work station and cry the whole day. Crying went on and on as the pain intensified. The pain was more often and painkillers provided no relief. I was giving up on life. My doctor was doing whatever was in her means to see that I get better but the condition was just worsening. I couldn’t get rid of these hours, days, and weeks of what felt like sinking into a big dark hole that I couldn’t climb out of. I would dose off at work despite sleeping long hours at night. I was always fatigued and waking up in the morning was painful.
At this time, we were preparing to start Sickle Cell Network Uganda. My contribution during these meetings was little because of pain. I would just sit, not knowing what to do next. I wanted to give up on this project but 3 things were barriers to me;
1) I was the one who had created the team and chickening out was treasonous
2) I had promised the late Patricia that I would never give up on sickle cell advocacy and was now doing this for her.
3) My doctor used to encourage me to go on.
I found it too difficult to speak to anyone, even my family about how I was feeling. I was too scared they wouldn’t understand.
One evening after work I was chatting with my doctor on WhatsApp and as usual, I complained about the pain. She sent a prescription and asked me to go to a pharmacy and buy the drugs. Having been a regular client at our nearby pharmacy, I rushed and bought the drugs as prescribed. I knew this was another round of popping more pills as I had done before.
Waking up the next morning I was a little better. I went to see her the next day and she diagnosed me with depression. It hit me hard. What do I do? I couldn’t find any answers. I collected my pieces and got back on my feet knowing I was not alone. It has happened to other people too. With a decision that life must improve, my recovery journey started. My doctor helped me through this process and used to make sure I was fine all the time. She gave me all the attention until when she made sure that
I had totally recovered from depression.
Depression did not stop my sickle cell advocacy work. I always looked a happy person and gave motivating and encouraging talk to people with sickle cell and their parents but deep inside depression was eating me up. The confidence and self-belief to keep on trying made me win the battle against depression.
This year am celebrating 15 years of sickle cell advocacy. You can support my work by buying my celebration t-shirt at 30,000 Uganda Shillings. The proceeds will help to support Feed A Warrior program for children living with sickle cell disease in rural areas.
To preorder the t-shirt you can inbox me with your preferred size or contact me on 0779210960 (WhatsApp), 0701042239 or Culton Scovia on 0701039001.
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